Monday, September 13, 2010

Would you like some more?

It many British farces there is a scene where a guest who cannot say 'no' pours an unwanted drink into a pot plant. The pot plant usually dies immediately.
An English hostor hostess will often press a guest to accept their hospitality. Repeating an offer several times is a sign of generosity.
But, guests do not have to accept. Saying 'no, thank you' does not give offence in Britain. And it is much better for the pot plants!

United Kingdom

The United Kingdom consists of England, Scotland, Wales and Nothern Ireland.
The capitals are London, Edinburgh, Cardiff and Belfast.
The population is 47 million(England), 6 million(Scotland), 3 million(Wales) and 2 million(Nothern Ireland).
The official language is English. In Wales Welsh is also an official language . In parts of Scotland and Ireland people olsa speak Gaelic. Gaelic and Welsh are older than English.
Southern Ireland, or Eire, left the United Kingdom in 1992.

The British

Many British jokes are about 'An Englishman an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman'.
They usually begin 'One day an English man, an Irishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman were at a football match or in a bank... or having lunch...'.
Traditionally Welshmen are fine singers and mad about rugby. Scotsmen are frugal. Irishmen are warm-hearted and funny. Englishmen are cold and formal.
Of course these national stereotypes are ridiculous but they make good jokes.

Special Delivery

A few years ago someone called Steve Smith met a German girl while he was on holiday in Spain. One of a million similiar meetings.
Back in Germany Angela lost Steve's address. But she wrote to him all the same. She simply put his name and telephone number on the envelope.
There are twenty-seven pages of Smiths in the London telephone directory and the Post Office handles about fifty million letters a day.
But this letter arrived in Steve's letterbox only four days later.
Steve and Angela were obviously very grateful to the Post Office. They were married the next year.
But the Post Office prefer it if you address the envelope in the conventional way.

Rugby

The British middle-and upper-classes prefer rugby union. Association football is the game of the common man.
But both games originated in those centres of wealth and privilege, the British public schools-private schools which charge high fees.
It is said that rugby began at Rugby school in 1823, when a boy called William Webb Ellis picked up the ball and ran with it.
But this is probably a myth.
At that time there were many kinds of 'football'. All of them were extremely rough. Games could involve as many as three hundred people and last for up to five days.
Gradually these 'games' were refined.
Two versions emerged. Rugby continued to allow handling and physical contact. Football did not.
It is interesting that the classes that regard themselves as more civilized prefer the more primitive game.

Pub Food

As a rule the lunch break in London offices is only an hour. So there is not time to go home for lunch.
Many office-workers go to pubs. These pubs serve simple, traditional food. The srt of food that Mum used to make. It is not only hot and quick, but also cheap.
The trouble is that these pubs are so popular that you cannot sit down. As a result you can find yourself with a slightly difficult problem.
You have a plate of delicious, traditional food in one hand, and a glass of beer in the other.
But, with only two hands, how do you eat your lunch?

Opening Time

The is a story about a gorilla who went into a pub and ordered a beer.
Assuming that gorillas do not understand money, the barman charged the gorilla three times the normal price. The gorilla paid in silence.
'Not many gorillas come in here', the barman said after a pause.
'I'm not surprised', the gorilla replied.
'Why?'
'Because the beer is very expensive.'
The story does not say if the barman was impressed, but the gorilla was obviously no fool.
Pubs in Britain open at strictly controlled times. In most parts of the country they are open from half past eleven in the morning to half past two and then from half past five to half past ten in the evening.
A thirsty gorilla needs a watch as well as a fat wallet.